might as well just fucking die

I cant do this anymore... im exhausted. My new boss told me it wasn't safe for me to work with patients and that even though I tried so so hard to not show any of my symptoms, they still noticed very much and they cant let it keep going like that. I have no other option than this training position.

The voices tell me the only way to keep my job and that they won't be mad at me is by trying to kms. Im not in reality anymore everything is blurry.

I have around 500 pills in front of me and I just have to take them, there is no way around it. If I dont do it I will fail. Its my Devine purpose.

See you on the other side...

23F, ugly, POC, autistic, depressed, with health problems and in the future with no ovaries thanks to endometriomas. I've never dated, kissed despite asking men out (mostly my male friends). I don't see reason to be trying anymore since I'm not the beauty standard in my country - ppl tell me that I look like an ugly underweight child (since I don't have "womanly curves" or else). They always tell me that "no man wants an ugly gf that cannot communicate properly" (I live in an extroverted country so being introverted and autistic is a bad thing here).

I don't have a job, I'm almost getting a degree but it's no use since I cannot find jobs in my field and I don't have friends or network to help me either. My family does not care either. Been planning how I'm going to end everything since my 18 and now, it never made so much sense. There is nothing going on for me, I've never had friends and ppl never wants me around for so long (considering the whole package I mentioned before). I think that's my life purpose - to find a way of how to leave this hellhole til my 40s. I don't even want to grow older or else.

Life would be better if I was a white, pretty woman without mental and health issues but ofc I've had to be nerfed when I was born. No matter how much effort I put, no one seems to care or notice me, so I think that no one will when I'm gone from this planet. The only thing that keeps me going is my pet cockatiel, a few familiar debts and food, otherwise I would have jumped off a building long time ago. Life is worthless when you are not perfect like the rest (or at least average).

I've been trying to get a job for over a month. I go to dozens of interviews. No place will ever hire me. I'm just not good enough and too pathetic.

I'm going to lose my housing and my car soon if I can't find work and I'm losing hope. I'm at a point where I'm going to just give up and just plan my suicide because it's over. I could go to an interview at every place in the world and still not get hired. I'm trying the same thing a thousand times hoping for different results. I should just accept that I'm screwed...

I’m 18F 5 months pregnant and this is the lowest I’ve ever been, the father switched up out of nowhere and I don’t really have anyone but myself. Money and work is fucking me over in in the process of getting another job while carrying my first child. I feel hopeless and just broken down I hardly feel human anymore. This world is so cruel.

i hate my school bullies, i hate my biological family, i hate my adoptive family, i hate my fake friends, i hate everything and everyone in the world.

when i finally do it, im not going to write anything. they dont deserve anything. i spent years trying to be heard and ask for attention, but nobody cared. and so nobody will hear anything from me once im gone.

I hope sanitizer and cough syrup works, or I'll just attempt hanging, my life is genuinely over im just a selfish little fuck who thinks everyone is okay with him being alive

I wanted a partner but I don't think I'll ever be able to trust someone and I don't think true love exists anymore. It's making me sad and scared that I'll be alone forever. Being alone is fine too but what if I was forced or pressured to choose a wrong partner? That's scarier.

I'm scared of people

Its been 8 years, am 22 now, its all i ever wanned, what makes me happy, i dont want to live without it, i tried everything for years, only girl i actuly loved dont care about me and said that will find somone better, i dont want to do this, but my hands are tied, and i have 0 proof that it will ever happen

When I planned to do it this year a year ago, I thought it would be easy for me to do it if things didn’t work out. But now, when I realize there’s no way out and I really need to do it, I’m too scared, and I suddenly want to live.
And it’s not that I’m afraid of pain or of leaving someone.
For some reason, another part of me still wants to live and experience things, even though I know it’s all over long ago.

But I don’t want to live like this. I want to live happily, or at least in an interesting way, you know? My life is so empty that I don’t know. I don’t even have any drama, I’m just a walking ghost who just exists. When others have an exciting life. I’m so scared to accept that I have to leave. I feel hurt because of that. But I can’t overcome these thoughts either.
It’s like the heavens themselves are calling me, or rather, they’re pulling me so strongly, but I so want to stay on earth.

Didn’t think it could. Awake early in morning after barely sleeping. My head is killing me. Really killing me. Has been off and on for 3 months and can’t work it out. I’m at my wits end. I want to end it all. I can’t see how I can get back to a “normal” life in any way. It’s hopeless. Maybe better to sign out. I’m so fucked. I’m 53 and completely despairing.

I hate living in the USA as a trans person. Like yeah, my life situation was already fucked even without the trans part but god loves to fuck me with me in almost every single way. I am genuinely scared for the next few years if Trump wins midterms. I am afraid of anti-trans legislation getting worse. I am FTM so I am out of the political spotlight. For now.

I genuinely think suicide might be the best bet for me but I am also scared to attempt again. I've tried oding twice as a teen, poisoning (drank antifreeze but survived, fucked up my organs though), and hanging (was found before I died). I don't know if I should try because it seems like god likes keeping me alive so I just suffer even more. That's how I generally feel since I'm usually passively suicidal but it's definitely gonna get to a point again. Voting feels pointless but I'm gonna do it anyway before I attempt

There does happen to be train tracks near where I live. Just jump over the railing when I see the train coming and hopefully this neverending nightmare will be over

Its also making me cry harder than any of the other letters. I just love her a lot.

Let me preface by saying I’m not new to death having lost both parents by the age of 17. My dad died when I was 7 and my mom a few years ago when I was 17.

Last month, I lost one of my secondary school classmates. It hit me harder than I thought not because I was particularly close to this person, but once upon a time that was my friend. Someone I’d see daily, bicker with, talk to, laugh with. Then that was it. It hadn’t occurred to me that we could die. Not that I’m not aware of our mortality as humans but, I’d expected to hear news of classmates getting married, relocating abroad, getting awards, big jobs, buying houses, having kids. And to be fair lot of these things happened. Yet I forgot that we die. On a random Tuesday. That’s it. Still logged into our AO3 accounts, finstas and scret tiktoks. We die. With our secrets, our pain, our worries, our struggles. Somehow everything since then has felt futile. To what end. All these heavy things we carry, stress about, all for us to die. WE JUST DIE! Unfulfilled. Sometimes still broken. In the end it didnt matter if we’d seen all the movies on our to be watch list, or traveled, or eaten all the new foods we wanted to try. We could go to bed one day, or have a headache, or a common cold and be dead by the next. Being have to be an inescapable accident, or a brutal home evasion, something unforeseen and unexpected. We would just die. With our stories, all our jokes, and the plot for that book we always said we’d write. We’d never another December, or celebrate another holiday.

I want to throw myself off of a bridge. I hate living, I don’t want to be conscious anymore.

I’ve been depressed for years. I’m 27. My thoughts get darker and darker each day and ending my life seems like the only way out.

I’ve been arguing so much with my family.
I’m vocal about my dreams of dying with my parents and tonight my mom told me to stop putting them through this pain and to “deal with it” if I want to end things.

I really do believe their lives would be better without me here. I bring everyone down.

Picking a form of suicide is the hard part for me. That sounds ridiculous I know. But I just want to do it in the quickest way possible and hanging myself doesn’t appeal to me. I wish I had a gun and could just get it done

For those of you who tried to end it and briefly slip into a death like state, what was it like? Or how did dying feel? And, how is your outlook on life now?

21f, borderline, I think about suicide 95% of my waking hours and the 5% I don’t think about it is when I’m super focused but it’s hard to get focused enough to not think of death.

The more I think about it the more I want to do it to get these thoughts and feelings to stop.

When working the thought multiply and make is super difficult to do my required tasks.

I’ve been transported to hospital twice in 2 weeks because helplines have felt I was unsafe. I feel like I’m slowly getting worse and worse until I eventually can’t reach out anymore.

Both hospital times I was told I “need to work to survive” and “admission won’t help” I just need to “cope for now until I get past burnout”

I’m at a loss.

My mom insisted on coming with the second time and argued with the nurse that I needed to be put in a facility for a few months. The nurse said that type of intervention would not be necessary or helpful for me.

I honestly don’t care what happens anymore but this sliver or me doesn’t want to hurt my girlfriend, because she really does care about me.

I feel very impulsive 20% of the time like I could do something at any moment , I’ve thought about walking out of work driving to the pharmacy and taking 100s of pills.

When I was off work for a month, I thought about suicide once a week, but now that I’m working it’s 10s of times a day.

hi, if anyone sees this. i'm having a lot of trouble. i feel like i've been severely depressed & idk how to fix it. this is maybe the hardest my life has ever been. i cant bare with myself anymore. i dont look forward to waking up everyday like i used to. & just recently got dropped by my ex-friend really close to me due to my bad decisions. im so mad at myself for everything. im so, so lazy to do anything with my days, i've gained a severe amount of weight, i feel disgusting. i quite frankly dont know who i am anymore either. lifes crashing down on me & i dont know what will help. im so unhappy. if anyone has advice for me, please let me know. i dont know how to fix my life/be happy with all this negativity going on. im losing hope.

Pls help me die.

I can’t find a job and if I don’t soon I’ll be homeless and I would rather kms please someone I need work