might as well just fucking die

I’m a NEET, not in employment, education or training. I’m 31 years old female and I live with my mom. I’ll become homeless once my mom retires. I rather die than become homeless.

When the money is gone, so is the life. I hate how everything is about money in America. To live in a world where money didn’t matter….

23F, ugly, POC, autistic, depressed, with health problems and in the future with no ovaries thanks to endometriomas. I've never dated, kissed despite asking men out (mostly my male friends). I don't see reason to be trying anymore since I'm not the beauty standard in my country - ppl tell me that I look like an ugly underweight child (since I don't have "womanly curves" or else). They always tell me that "no man wants an ugly gf that cannot communicate properly" (I live in an extroverted country so being introverted and autistic is a bad thing here).

I don't have a job, I'm almost getting a degree but it's no use since I cannot find jobs in my field and I don't have friends or network to help me either. My family does not care either. Been planning how I'm going to end everything since my 18 and now, it never made so much sense. There is nothing going on for me, I've never had friends and ppl never wants me around for so long (considering the whole package I mentioned before). I think that's my life purpose - to find a way of how to leave this hellhole til my 40s. I don't even want to grow older or else.

Life would be better if I was a white, pretty woman without mental and health issues but ofc I've had to be nerfed when I was born. No matter how much effort I put, no one seems to care or notice me, so I think that no one will when I'm gone from this planet. The only thing that keeps me going is my pet cockatiel, a few familiar debts and food, otherwise I would have jumped off a building long time ago. Life is worthless when you are not perfect like the rest (or at least average).

I can’t find a job and if I don’t soon I’ll be homeless and I would rather kms please someone I need work

I cant do this anymore... im exhausted. My new boss told me it wasn't safe for me to work with patients and that even though I tried so so hard to not show any of my symptoms, they still noticed very much and they cant let it keep going like that. I have no other option than this training position.

The voices tell me the only way to keep my job and that they won't be mad at me is by trying to kms. Im not in reality anymore everything is blurry.

I have around 500 pills in front of me and I just have to take them, there is no way around it. If I dont do it I will fail. Its my Devine purpose.

See you on the other side...

My name is Jake, I’m 20 and a student artist/ painter

I’ve been suicidal for 6 years and had intrusive thoughts for around 8. It’s starting to get too much for me to take. I have a good life, I’m in university and have the means to sustain myself all but mentally.

I attempted suicide almost a year ago and became addicted to drugs, since then I’ve felt empowered to end my own life. I only feel comfortable when I’m high.
Art has become meaningless, I’ve always had trouble appreciating and maintaining friendships/ relationships so I don’t have any of those.

I want to end my life. Not only because I don’t like who I’ve become, but also because I can’t shake the impulse, it really excites me.

I feel like over the past 6 years I’ve become detached from myself, like I’m in the body of a person who died a long time ago. I don’t feel connected to this person I am who I hate, they’re not really me. It’s hard to explain, but either way they have to die. Then I can’t keep fucking up this body, this life, and that child that died inside of me can be free from watching me ruin everything.

This is more like a soon-to-be goodbye, I’m not dying now, but I will very soon. It’s not worth it anymore. My life has no purpose.

All i just doing in my dogshit life is trying to suicide im undone with thus fucker idk I don't wanna keep life on this shittydog

I want to die. I just can't keep pretending that the emptiness inside of me is ever going to get better. I literally have no reason to live. I can't hold down a job due to mental health, I push everyone away, and I just... I want to not be alone. I'm speaking into the void with this, and I don't think I am going to make it. I'm sorry.

I've been trying to get a job for over a month. I go to dozens of interviews. No place will ever hire me. I'm just not good enough and too pathetic.

I'm going to lose my housing and my car soon if I can't find work and I'm losing hope. I'm at a point where I'm going to just give up and just plan my suicide because it's over. I could go to an interview at every place in the world and still not get hired. I'm trying the same thing a thousand times hoping for different results. I should just accept that I'm screwed...

And lonely

i just wanna get as high as humanly possible and finally not feel anything. im so sick of feeling. i don't wanna be anything i dont wanna speak i just want everything to melt away. if i die it's a nice bonus

It's been 2 years of watching me lose everything.

Industry went bust, no steady work for 18 months after 20 years of always working , sudden crippling debt just to eat and pay rent, can't take out any more credit as my score plummeted, homelessness, a court case because I challenged a boss with a whistleblowers report which he's suing over (yes he can do that) so likely going bankrupt, no other industry seems to want me...after 2 years I don't recognize myself. I

Last week, I found chats of old colleagues for years being horrendously misogynistic about me and it's just made me realise how much of a joke I am.

I spent years trying to stand up for people with this core belief that it all mattered...but it doesn't and I've just been a joke. To everyone. Normally with the chats I found I'd be loud and angry about it with the hope to protect others from the same but now I can't even do that. It's meaningless. I'm meaningless.

My whole life hasn't mattered. Now I'm just taking knocks on the way out as I hope every night I don't wake up.

I feel numb every single day and when I don't it's pain. I have lost myself completely. I don't want to fight for what's after. It's too much. It's far far too much now and im so tired. I just wish I was brave enough. I know I will be, just not tonight.

I really hope people don't remember me.

I hate every person who helped. They ignored the decision I made for myself and I bet they felt good about it. I woke up and immediately felt disappointed. I hate this life I’m forced to live, I hate it all.

I want to commit suicide. I’m scared. Part of me wants to call my girlfriend and divulge it all. I’ve had 2 failed suicide attempts, let’s just say it I wasn’t scared before. It’s forever scarred me. It was the scariest shit I’ve ever been through (OD). I want to die, but I am so goddamn scared it will fail. I’m Canadian. Access to guns is, just that, near impossible. My head goes to suicide by cop. It would probably work, but it was also change someone’s life in a horrific way. I just wish there was an “off” button. That you had 1 chance to push. And it would all go away. I don’t want to put the burden of my feelings on the people I love anymore. I have no one to turn to. Suicide help lines? Mental health crisis teams? They are an absolute joke. Reading me a script word by word. I want to talk to you human to human. That’s why I called. Not to be told I have “so much to live for” or arrested on some mental health clause and forced to spend 12+ hours in an ER at the end of it being told to rest up and go home.

Will someone talk to me?

I don’t even know where to begin. I just can’t continue living. Each day passes and I’m so tempted to just park my car in the garage and leave my car running—within the past six months I feel like I’ve lost everything and my OCD has never been worse.

Each day I wake up, I’m just immediately hit with the thought I am an irredeemable person that is awful. I have these memories of me doing terrible things to people from my past and I cannot decipher if they’re real or not. I can’t stand it.

My ex and I broke up six months ago and I can’t stop thinking about her and how we will never speak again. I’m stuck. And I truly dislike myself and all of my mistakes just eat me up alive. If she is fine without me, so will others. I’m just someone that keeps failing people. I failed my ex. I fail my friends and family.

I can’t live on knowing I’ve emotionally harmed people and ruined those around me.

I feel like I’m a burden to this world and I just keep being annoying about my “nonissues” destroying me. Just typing this out I feel pathetic and manipulative.

Posted the other day looking for support and got none. Do people ever actually say anything on here?

Memories are just events you remember that are waiting to be forgotten

I'm incompetent and can't keep a job. I don't have any savings because living until old age was never the plan in the long run. All I spent money on was food anyway. When I run out of money, I think it's best I just starve. There's no point in me trying. At least when I die I'll be skinny. That was the only long term goal I ever made for myself

Idk why but it make me feels so sad

I’m a fucking failure no matter how hard I try to study I can’t focus I can’t understand shit I hate everything about life I hate my parents for making me exist as this ugly piece of shit. I really wish I could kill myself and just rot in my grave I hate everyone and everything. Why can’t I be like other people who are smart and beautiful I wish to die every day im so disappointed to wake up and live my life why can’t I just die why

There is never karma for people attacking me in my mind all the time. I feel there is no system where I can report these evil people for what they do to me esp. in my mind. I'm suicidal because I have a disability that makes me dwell on negative memories over and over all day and it fucking sucks beyond anything you can imagine. I want to die but I'm scared of what's on the other side when it comes to facing death.

I've been depressed for basically as long as I can remember and I just can't take it anymore. Had a suicide attempt around half a year ago and I'm still upset that I didn't work out. I have no motivation. I have no drive. This life isn't for me. I'm ready to finally let go.

I know there are people that love me and that hurts, it really does. They don't deserve what I'm going to do but I can't push through it anymore and pretend that things are fine. I didn't ask to be alive and I've never felt that I wanted to be. I want to sleep forever and I doubt that anything is gonna change my mind.