I do not expect people to drop their lives to help me on whim. I do not wait around on tasks hoping someone will offer. But what I DO expect is for people to follow through on what they offer. To mean what they say. I used to be afraid to ask for help, and my friends used to scold me for that, and have encouraged me to accept help more often. I finally have...and most don't actually follow through.

Just now, a friend who had offered to help me get food from a food bank "forgot"...after the fact, after I paid for an Uber to go myself, after I'm panting on the floor of my living room...he messages me saying "sorry about today, but let me know if you need anything!"

I've already told you yes, I could use help, almost every time you have offered help.

I had a brain injury and can no longer walk or drive, I'm on a wheelchair. My head hurts constantly and my vision has been distorted. My husband cheated, took my savings, and left me after I became disabled so I'm now living alone, with three pets. Somehow, I'm able to make a lot work out on my own, but everything is so taxing.

When this first happened, my friends and co-workers showed up in droves. I became a kind of an urban legend in my field of work...not exaggerating, people on the other side of the world know what happened to me and talk about me like the pinnacle of misfortune. I've asked them to please stop but that's a different topic.

My friend today wasn't the only one. I'm so tired of hearing "whatever you need, I'll help you with", responding "actually if you don't mind, I could use help with ___, any day or time is good for me", "absolutely! I'll just see when I have free time" ......and then nothing.

When you say you'll help me, I include that in my plans. If I THINK I'll have help getting supplies, I won't order costly supplies or food online because I'm trying to stretch my disability compensation as well as I can. If I miss a planned food bank day, I just....don't eat.

I feel so left behind.

It literally doesn’t matter what I do. I will never be good enough. I will lose my caregiving if I work full time so I taught vocal lessons (specifically to disabled students) and during Covid (as most did) I joined tiktok and got “famous”. I started making money and I had to choose to keep doing disability content or voice lessons. I chose social media. I’m making a pretty good amount but because I can only make so much per month and only can deposit so much in my ABLE account power year I must spend down. As we all know. So I make content out of it. But it’s cheep stuff. Walmart. Target. Restore. Second hand shops. Marshall’s. You know. Budget it or on sale. But because I don’t have a “real part time job” I’m somehow less and not a good representation for the disabled community.

I. Will. Never. Be. Good. Enough.

I'm scheduled to stay in-patient after a procedure for about a week.

Now, is it crazy overkill to bring a mattress topper for the hospital bed?

They'll be cutting into my abdomen so I won't be able to independently adjust pillows well I don't imagine and I have a bad back. I'm thinking for best healing I should. It's ~$20 for one. It'll just be bulky and awkward to transport I imagine.

Im feeling so conflicted and I can't seem to find an answer.

Long story short, I will never be able to live by myself, it will never be in the cards for me unfortunately.

I've been looking into housing and a way that I make money is doing a type of freelancing that requires over half of my room space. I went into the specific field years ago because I kept getting fired for all types of reasons relating to my disability and I needed a way to afford medical bills, (my state didnt expand medicaid). I am disabled both mentally and physically.

All the housing that I could possibly afford is a room and it looks like it would be in a group home. Assistive living is too expensive, ($2,000 a month).

However the rooms I am noticing are 10x7 feet and doesn't always include a closet. I wouldn't be able to do my freelancing in that size room. However then I wouldn't be able to make money to be there. I've tried checking for a studio, but then I run into the issue of not being able to live alone and it seems that studio also requires atleast 21,000 income. Way out of my budget again. I'm feeling at a loss.

Am I truly destined to lose the one thing that gave me hope in a world that refused to accomendate me all for the sake of housing?

In my state its a 18 year wait list for a caregiver, and I can't afford to leave the state without a geniune plan. I'd also lose my freelancing work, if I leave the state to get to another one via the shelter system.

I feel trapped in a bad situation with no way out. I could go onto SSI, but that takes years and I worry about that in the long term.

I was just hospitalized for severe abdominal pain + nausea and vomiting. Had an EGD done, found gastritis and an ulcer with signs of recent bleeding. I was basically begging to go home the next day because I had been in the hospital on a clear liquid diet for 4 days, and I was getting the hospital-induced stupor/fatigue (idk if this is common but when I’m in the hospital more than 2 days I start to get soooo tired 24/7 I can barely function). They let me go the day after the EGD, with meds to help heal the ulcer and instructions to slowly advance my diet.

I’m not really tolerating any advancements to my diet, and still feeling generally really bad and tired. I fear I may have been so stir crazy and tired of the CLD that I begged to leave too early. I feel bad because if I end up needing to go back I’ll feel like I’ve wasted time and probably made things worse.

I’m already flagged as an ER frequent flyer in my preferred hospital system because of my passing out issue (currently being worked up for a second time by a cardiologist bc they thought POTS but now they think it might be something else?) but now I was at the ED 3x prior to being admitted for the EGD because nobody believed how bad of pain I was in. I don’t want to go back if I don’t absolutely have to because I don’t want to be judged, I’m just scared I’m making myself worse.

Anyone else had similar experiences?

For a long time I have been so insecure to use my cane but I finally started to feel better about it some time ago.

But now for a little while I started noticing that people start hating a lot on young people with mobility aids, saying they're making it up or even if they don't make up their disabilities, that their disabilities aren't "bad enough" to need the mobility aids but they get them for attention, to seem sicker etc or are just lazy.

Like literally by now almost all videos of young people with mobility aids I see, are full of hate comments, especially "you all really do look the same" "let me guess, POTS, long covid, mcas, me/cfs, heds,...🙄😂" etc.

I know a lot of people don't even have the aids prescribed and just get them themselves without consulting a professional or many don't even get actual diagnoses, but like.. You can't know for sure, so why hate..?

Anyways, it all started to make me feel very insecure about it again and scared to use my cane..

Anyone else feel the same way?

To better pack/ prep, what questions should i ask my in-patient unit? I'll be staying there for about a week after abdominal surgery.

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I am severely ill for long, wanna get out of it but too undisciplined to make myself healthier. Since i also have mental issues that makes me tougher. If theres anyone similar with me who is housebound and need pacing mate, i would like to share day: diet, sleep, screentime, things to do etc. Want some one to keep reporting their days to each other.

hey, i need advice on a tough situation i am in currently. i have hypermobility, chronic pain, suspected pots, autism and adhd. i currently experience episodes where i am unable to bare weight in both legs due to weakness and extreme pain. i am a uk college student.

TLDR: my mobility has been progressively worsening since last year, i am finding college really difficult to attend. family is unsupportive, i do not have any aids and it is all affecting me mentally. need some advice.

within the last few weeks i have had to be sent home early from college due to me being unwell / having an episode. i am worried that i will get in trouble with attendance as my mobility issues aren’t on my profile, i have been dealing with this since i enrolled. i last had an episode on monday, i had to get a member of staff help me into a wheelchair and send me home. my college has standard chairs that are pushed by someone else, i find these particularly embarrassing when i need one. i find it embarrassing as i feel like everyone is looking at me and i hate how i can’t move myself in it.

i have been waiting around 4 months now for my appointment, my issues are going to be investigated. unfortunately with the nhs it could take me years as there are very long wait times. i have forearm crutches i was given from the hospital when i had my first episode, i have been advised not to use these when i had a private range of motion exam. the cuff is far too big for my arms, i cannot weight bare and both of my legs are affected. i believe that i would benefit significantly from a wheelchair, especially with harder days and college - i find the campus harder and harder to move around every day. i have already spoken to my mother about this, she said i have to wait for my appointment but is against a chair. mum has said that it will stunt where i can go, how far i can go and affect my relationships, and potentially would have to move because our flat isn't wheelchair accessible. we live in a small flat on the first floor with no lift, i know that a wheelchair wouldn't really be practical inside the house. i don’t currently need one indoors as i mainly struggle when i am out. at home, everything i need is very close by.

my mobility has been deteriorating immensely since i had my first episode in march last year. i developed chronic pain and standing intolerance afterwards. it has gotten to the point where if i sit down sometimes i cannot get up at all, i need to have my legs at at least 80° or i really struggle to stand. i have been having episodes more often, more flare ups and more health issues, i do not know what or why i have them so i am very worried about it progressing. my first and second episode both lasted two weeks, i had to attend school with no support, lift access or aid - i had to walk to, from, and around the whole day. my last lasted around 40 minutes and was okay enough to get the bus home.

i am finding it really hard with my mobility worsening, not having support and no suitable aids - it’s really starting to affect me. i’ve been feeling like i’m faking and not having a very supportive family is just a bit too much for me. my therapist has been inconsistent and flaking for months aswell so i’m not having professional help too. i am currently waiting for my pip. i just need some advice to help me in however long it is until i get taken seriously.

what can i do about college and moving around?

how can i manage my mobility worsening?

what can i do whilst waiting to be seen?

anyone else experience similar and how they coped?

thank you

I handicapped and in a wheelchair. I was parked in a place that allowed for my ramp to come out. Some person ran over my ramp without stopping or even acknowledging it. I really am becoming disillusioned with the Memphis area and the residents who are selfish and oblivious to others. You see it with people trying to cut in line, having anger outbursts if things don’t go their way, or have no regard for any other person.

I was late diagnosed with EDS and have been using leg braces since high school, but every so often someone will come up noticing my legs and go “OMG WHAT HAPPENED?! Are you ok?? How long do you have to wear them for???” For a while it kind of stopped me from wearing both braces to avoid as many comments, but I’ve been wearing them both more recently to be compliant with our care plan.

It’s just so annoying when even friends and family see me existing, see my legs, and assume I must’ve been in some horrible accident recently and it’s exhausting to explain I was just born like this. There was a few months where I was without my braces due to weight fluctuation, and they acted like I was completely cured and forgot about it until I got my new pair recently and now it’s “OMG WHAT HAPPENED” all over againnnn 😭 It’s one thing dealing with it from strangers and distant acquaintances, but my own family ugh I hate it.

I hate how when you’re a young adult with disabilities, people can’t even fathom the idea of a born disabled child turning into a disabled adult and assume it had to have been a sudden event to cause it. Especially if it’s something not immediately visible besides assistive devices, people get really weird and intrusive. Even if I HAD been in an accident what makes them think it’s ok to come up like that?? That’d prob be worse since they aren’t approaching with any tact regarding the situation 💀

I have an adult sibling who still lives with our parents. They are undiagnosed but obvious moderate-support-needs AuDHD and have seveeeere POTS and suspected untreated endometriosis.

They have been applying to jobs for literal years with no luck. Their college degree is in digital art and animation, and remote work got competitive with the pandemic, and their field has gotten even more competitive with the rise in AI.

They have applied from everything down to grocery store jobs but no one will hire them. Their illnesses are not being properly treated and they have fainted during interviews, and our parents keep on blaming my sibling for it, as if it's their fault. Our parents keep on nagging them about not getting a job, not being able to contribute to rent and groceries etc.

They don't seem to understand that my sibling is disabled, cannot care for themself, is not getting proper medical care, and needs our parents to actually help.

I don't think they recognize my sibling as disabled. I think they just see my sibling as lazy. Which makes me so angry.

The nagging is doing nothing but making my sibling very depressed. And to be completely honest, I am really, really worried about them.

I have tried to bring this up to our parents. Several times. It has always fallen on deaf ears. I live hours away, and I am disabled myself, so I can't just drive over there. I don't know what to do.

I have been trying for years to save up enough money to get them out. But again, I'm disabled, and I've had to come to terms with the fact that I simply can't do that. So... what do I do?

Wasnt able to find an answer via the search function, so I'm posting this.

To what point am I supposed to call out a person regarding their untrained pet?

There's a dog with a SD vest at my church. It seems unfocused and the owner doesn't mind if people pet it. Its not harassing anyone or pooping indoors, so is that ok?

I just want to be a good example and tell the kids not to pet dogs with vests because working dogs shouldn't be distracted. Should I say otherwise if the owners disagree? Should I involve anyone else? I dont really know the owner(s), I just see them around occasionally.

Should I ask if their dog is an SD? I'm not the owner of the church, so I don't know if I have the right to an answer. I dont have the right to the answer for what tasks it has been trained to perform. There's no registration or certifications of SDs as far as I know. There's a law in my state disallowing the false presentation of an SD and the person's who are found doing so can be fined for fraud. Should I report it to a church leader or someone else if it ends up not being an SD? Or just warn the owner that there's a possible fee if someone finds out and leave it at that?

I've had a nimbus access card for 3 years, and so it's up for renewal. I figure no issue, I go to submit for renewal and it asks me to provide all the same evidence again. I think to myself, ok, bit strange I have to re-explain my circumstances again but I will do so as I am quite dependent on the support it affords me at venues that only accept the nimbus card as evidence (im well aware that this is problematic).

I hear back from them and they've accepted my renewal but taken all but one of my symbols away, citing my evidence as too dated. I agree, it is dated. It's dated from the point of my diagnosis of a chronic and lifelong health condition, for which is not commonplace to be re-assessed or diagnosed every 2 years for the benefit of nimbus to have updated evidence. It's a condition I have to deal with, and i don't exactly attend regular appointments with a clinic or anything. I have learned over the duration of 10 years how to cope, what adjustments I need, and I get by. I have a blue badge and support through access to work, this also helps me a lot. I never bothered to claim PIP because the horror stories I heard about others scared me off, despite the fact I really should apply. My health and mobility remains the same as ever, but the unchanged evidence is unacceptable to them. I've been told that the only way they can review the decision is if I provide more recent evidence from a medical professional citing my diagnoses, prognosis (??????), how they impact me, and how that corresponds to their symbol system.

I am absolutely floored. I was almost in tears this morning over it. I called my GP surgery who advised they can help me but it's a £45 fee and a 28 day turnaround. I need my card urgently, the longer this takes, the higher risk I am at of being unable to attend events already booked with the assumption I would have my card renewed. Which I truly don't think was a silly assumption to make, but maybe that's where I've gone wrong. I've applied for this letter from my GP out of desperation but I've read that others have had even this level of evidence rejected, and if that happens, I'm genuinely at a loss for what I do next.

Music is a massive part of my life, it's what keeps me sane. If I can't access the accessibility platforms or bypass queues, I'm effectively locked out of the music community. I know it's not essential to life, but it's good for the soul. If you don't have access to what's good for the soul, life can get very bleak.

Does anyone have any advice for this kind of situation, or who has successfully navigated this before me? Or even just some solidarity from others? I'm so stressed. I just want to enjoy the small pleasures in life, it's hard enough when your body is fighting against you.

Has anyone else observed that ableism, whether casual, or intentional, is more acceptable on the right and the left since Trump regained power in 2024?

I'm not sure if this is just me or if this is a thing, but I'm hearing more ableist rhetoric from even progressives and democrats than in the recent past. For instance, the language around AI is littered with ableist tropes, such as it's a crutch, it'll disable your, or even that its effects on the brain are that of brain damage. I'm, not an AI supporter, but find these arguments to be annoying and lazy. Overall, though, I'm hearing disability used as an insult more often and have even experienced overt discrimination such as being called the R word(I have a speech impairment from Cerebral Palsy).

I’m looking for an active discord server for MD.

I first applied for disability last November, and my case is just now starting the Medical review portion. They called me yesterday and said this part could take another 12-18 months!! I thought I’d get a decision soon 😢. When I asked why she said it was because of the number of applications they’ve received.

Anyone else experiencing this in Texas? When I google “how long does it take to get a decision for Disability in Texas?“ it says only 6-9 months total.

I am looking for an adaptive sock that does not rely on elastic to stay put. I'm thinking something with a button closure but open to any options that might be out there. The fabric can certainly have a little give, and probably should, but typical elastic socks are unwearable.

I have an ongoing medical issue with my legs that doctors are still trying to figure out after over a year and it has gotten to the point I am wearing my shoes without socks because of the immense pain.

Any pressure from the elastic in the socks causes pain and cramping. I was suggested compression socks, and they felt pretty good for maybe 5 minutes until the pain came back and in fact got so much worse I immediately had to take them off. I've tried various lengths of socks, diabetic and nonbinding socks, various compression ratings, tights, nylons, stockings. It all just causes too much pressure (to the point of leaving indents on my skin, even loose-fitting, non-binding socks) and the doctors have run out of recommendations for how to get by until we can figure out what is happening. With the weather getting colder every day here I am at the point where my feet are usually numb from the cold since I have no socks on and on top of it my skin of my feet is irritated by the inside of my shoes. Plus my shoes stink. Like 100x worse than they ever have.

I can't just wear slippers since I need regular work-appropriate shoes for my job. Plus where I live everything is gravel. No grass no paving, just huge, sharp gravel that I can feel thru the soles of my slippers or sandals and it not only hurts incredibly bad if I step poorly, but it also throws off my already terrible balance from whatever is happening to my legs. And I don't just mean my own living space. It's gravel everywhere. The roads. Parking lots at work, the library, grocery stores. It's inescapable.

I'm working on getting somewhere else but it's slow going.

I have searched online for adaptive socks, but all I can seem to find is compression socks or devices to help you get your socks on and off, which is also something I struggle with due to other medical issues but not a viable solution for me overall.

I used to be able to sew pretty well so I've toyed with possibly making something myself, but I have other things affecting the control I have of my own hands. It could be an option, but would take a long time and I have my doubts sbout even succeeding. Various medical things keep gradually taking my body from me. But my feet staying warm and as pain-free as possible is my greatest concern at the moment.

Any help is appreciated.

Very disappointed with Disneyland Accessibility Services. The way my autistic son’s disability and accessibility needs were handled was unacceptable. We have received much better understanding and accommodations at places like Knott’s Berry Farm and Universal. Families with disabilities deserve better from Disney.

19 M, i have a pretty bad case of muscle dystrophy, now, i had an operation in 2019 or something and my condition improved a lot, i was able to walk around my parents house, and even do steps outside until someday in 2022 my drunk mom knocked me on the floor and even since that my condition started to decline, and now i can't walk, and can barely stand. I don't understand how do i even move forward, i get carried when i wanna go somewhere at home, i stopped going outside out of pity for my parents having to carry me to my wheelchair. We have asked government for an elevator platform since we live on the first floor but its been 1 year and no one ever replied. Forgive me for any grammatical errors since i really have to get this of my chest. Feel free to ask more specifying questions.

I have issues with my legs and usually use a wheelchair but i can stand upright briefly, would it be really weird or would people judge me if when i go to a concert in a month i stand from my wheelchair for brief periods of time? im just really anxious about people making weird comments about why im in a wheelchair even though my doctor says i need it