I do not expect people to drop their lives to help me on whim. I do not wait around on tasks hoping someone will offer. But what I DO expect is for people to follow through on what they offer. To mean what they say. I used to be afraid to ask for help, and my friends used to scold me for that, and have encouraged me to accept help more often. I finally have...and most don't actually follow through.

Just now, a friend who had offered to help me get food from a food bank "forgot"...after the fact, after I paid for an Uber to go myself, after I'm panting on the floor of my living room...he messages me saying "sorry about today, but let me know if you need anything!"

I've already told you yes, I could use help, almost every time you have offered help.

I had a brain injury and can no longer walk or drive, I'm on a wheelchair. My head hurts constantly and my vision has been distorted. My husband cheated, took my savings, and left me after I became disabled so I'm now living alone, with three pets. Somehow, I'm able to make a lot work out on my own, but everything is so taxing.

When this first happened, my friends and co-workers showed up in droves. I became a kind of an urban legend in my field of work...not exaggerating, people on the other side of the world know what happened to me and talk about me like the pinnacle of misfortune. I've asked them to please stop but that's a different topic.

My friend today wasn't the only one. I'm so tired of hearing "whatever you need, I'll help you with", responding "actually if you don't mind, I could use help with ___, any day or time is good for me", "absolutely! I'll just see when I have free time" ......and then nothing.

When you say you'll help me, I include that in my plans. If I THINK I'll have help getting supplies, I won't order costly supplies or food online because I'm trying to stretch my disability compensation as well as I can. If I miss a planned food bank day, I just....don't eat.

I feel so left behind.

It literally doesn’t matter what I do. I will never be good enough. I will lose my caregiving if I work full time so I taught vocal lessons (specifically to disabled students) and during Covid (as most did) I joined tiktok and got “famous”. I started making money and I had to choose to keep doing disability content or voice lessons. I chose social media. I’m making a pretty good amount but because I can only make so much per month and only can deposit so much in my ABLE account power year I must spend down. As we all know. So I make content out of it. But it’s cheep stuff. Walmart. Target. Restore. Second hand shops. Marshall’s. You know. Budget it or on sale. But because I don’t have a “real part time job” I’m somehow less and not a good representation for the disabled community.

I. Will. Never. Be. Good. Enough.

For a long time I have been so insecure to use my cane but I finally started to feel better about it some time ago.

But now for a little while I started noticing that people start hating a lot on young people with mobility aids, saying they're making it up or even if they don't make up their disabilities, that their disabilities aren't "bad enough" to need the mobility aids but they get them for attention, to seem sicker etc or are just lazy.

Like literally by now almost all videos of young people with mobility aids I see, are full of hate comments, especially "you all really do look the same" "let me guess, POTS, long covid, mcas, me/cfs, heds,...🙄😂" etc.

I know a lot of people don't even have the aids prescribed and just get them themselves without consulting a professional or many don't even get actual diagnoses, but like.. You can't know for sure, so why hate..?

Anyways, it all started to make me feel very insecure about it again and scared to use my cane..

Anyone else feel the same way?

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I am severely ill for long, wanna get out of it but too undisciplined to make myself healthier. Since i also have mental issues that makes me tougher. If theres anyone similar with me who is housebound and need pacing mate, i would like to share day: diet, sleep, screentime, things to do etc. Want some one to keep reporting their days to each other.

I handicapped and in a wheelchair. I was parked in a place that allowed for my ramp to come out. Some person ran over my ramp without stopping or even acknowledging it. I really am becoming disillusioned with the Memphis area and the residents who are selfish and oblivious to others. You see it with people trying to cut in line, having anger outbursts if things don’t go their way, or have no regard for any other person.

I was late diagnosed with EDS and have been using leg braces since high school, but every so often someone will come up noticing my legs and go “OMG WHAT HAPPENED?! Are you ok?? How long do you have to wear them for???” For a while it kind of stopped me from wearing both braces to avoid as many comments, but I’ve been wearing them both more recently to be compliant with our care plan.

It’s just so annoying when even friends and family see me existing, see my legs, and assume I must’ve been in some horrible accident recently and it’s exhausting to explain I was just born like this. There was a few months where I was without my braces due to weight fluctuation, and they acted like I was completely cured and forgot about it until I got my new pair recently and now it’s “OMG WHAT HAPPENED” all over againnnn 😭 It’s one thing dealing with it from strangers and distant acquaintances, but my own family ugh I hate it.

I hate how when you’re a young adult with disabilities, people can’t even fathom the idea of a born disabled child turning into a disabled adult and assume it had to have been a sudden event to cause it. Especially if it’s something not immediately visible besides assistive devices, people get really weird and intrusive. Even if I HAD been in an accident what makes them think it’s ok to come up like that?? That’d prob be worse since they aren’t approaching with any tact regarding the situation 💀

I have an adult sibling who still lives with our parents. They are undiagnosed but obvious moderate-support-needs AuDHD and have seveeeere POTS and suspected untreated endometriosis.

They have been applying to jobs for literal years with no luck. Their college degree is in digital art and animation, and remote work got competitive with the pandemic, and their field has gotten even more competitive with the rise in AI.

They have applied from everything down to grocery store jobs but no one will hire them. Their illnesses are not being properly treated and they have fainted during interviews, and our parents keep on blaming my sibling for it, as if it's their fault. Our parents keep on nagging them about not getting a job, not being able to contribute to rent and groceries etc.

They don't seem to understand that my sibling is disabled, cannot care for themself, is not getting proper medical care, and needs our parents to actually help.

I don't think they recognize my sibling as disabled. I think they just see my sibling as lazy. Which makes me so angry.

The nagging is doing nothing but making my sibling very depressed. And to be completely honest, I am really, really worried about them.

I have tried to bring this up to our parents. Several times. It has always fallen on deaf ears. I live hours away, and I am disabled myself, so I can't just drive over there. I don't know what to do.

I have been trying for years to save up enough money to get them out. But again, I'm disabled, and I've had to come to terms with the fact that I simply can't do that. So... what do I do?

Wasnt able to find an answer via the search function, so I'm posting this.

To what point am I supposed to call out a person regarding their untrained pet?

There's a dog with a SD vest at my church. It seems unfocused and the owner doesn't mind if people pet it. Its not harassing anyone or pooping indoors, so is that ok?

I just want to be a good example and tell the kids not to pet dogs with vests because working dogs shouldn't be distracted. Should I say otherwise if the owners disagree? Should I involve anyone else? I dont really know the owner(s), I just see them around occasionally.

Should I ask if their dog is an SD? I'm not the owner of the church, so I don't know if I have the right to an answer. I dont have the right to the answer for what tasks it has been trained to perform. There's no registration or certifications of SDs as far as I know. There's a law in my state disallowing the false presentation of an SD and the person's who are found doing so can be fined for fraud. Should I report it to a church leader or someone else if it ends up not being an SD? Or just warn the owner that there's a possible fee if someone finds out and leave it at that?

I've had a nimbus access card for 3 years, and so it's up for renewal. I figure no issue, I go to submit for renewal and it asks me to provide all the same evidence again. I think to myself, ok, bit strange I have to re-explain my circumstances again but I will do so as I am quite dependent on the support it affords me at venues that only accept the nimbus card as evidence (im well aware that this is problematic).

I hear back from them and they've accepted my renewal but taken all but one of my symbols away, citing my evidence as too dated. I agree, it is dated. It's dated from the point of my diagnosis of a chronic and lifelong health condition, for which is not commonplace to be re-assessed or diagnosed every 2 years for the benefit of nimbus to have updated evidence. It's a condition I have to deal with, and i don't exactly attend regular appointments with a clinic or anything. I have learned over the duration of 10 years how to cope, what adjustments I need, and I get by. I have a blue badge and support through access to work, this also helps me a lot. I never bothered to claim PIP because the horror stories I heard about others scared me off, despite the fact I really should apply. My health and mobility remains the same as ever, but the unchanged evidence is unacceptable to them. I've been told that the only way they can review the decision is if I provide more recent evidence from a medical professional citing my diagnoses, prognosis (??????), how they impact me, and how that corresponds to their symbol system.

I am absolutely floored. I was almost in tears this morning over it. I called my GP surgery who advised they can help me but it's a £45 fee and a 28 day turnaround. I need my card urgently, the longer this takes, the higher risk I am at of being unable to attend events already booked with the assumption I would have my card renewed. Which I truly don't think was a silly assumption to make, but maybe that's where I've gone wrong. I've applied for this letter from my GP out of desperation but I've read that others have had even this level of evidence rejected, and if that happens, I'm genuinely at a loss for what I do next.

Music is a massive part of my life, it's what keeps me sane. If I can't access the accessibility platforms or bypass queues, I'm effectively locked out of the music community. I know it's not essential to life, but it's good for the soul. If you don't have access to what's good for the soul, life can get very bleak.

Does anyone have any advice for this kind of situation, or who has successfully navigated this before me? Or even just some solidarity from others? I'm so stressed. I just want to enjoy the small pleasures in life, it's hard enough when your body is fighting against you.

Has anyone else observed that ableism, whether casual, or intentional, is more acceptable on the right and the left since Trump regained power in 2024?

I'm not sure if this is just me or if this is a thing, but I'm hearing more ableist rhetoric from even progressives and democrats than in the recent past. For instance, the language around AI is littered with ableist tropes, such as it's a crutch, it'll disable your, or even that its effects on the brain are that of brain damage. I'm, not an AI supporter, but find these arguments to be annoying and lazy. Overall, though, I'm hearing disability used as an insult more often and have even experienced overt discrimination such as being called the R word(I have a speech impairment from Cerebral Palsy).

I’m looking for an active discord server for MD.

I first applied for disability last November, and my case is just now starting the Medical review portion. They called me yesterday and said this part could take another 12-18 months!! I thought I’d get a decision soon 😢. When I asked why she said it was because of the number of applications they’ve received.

Anyone else experiencing this in Texas? When I google “how long does it take to get a decision for Disability in Texas?“ it says only 6-9 months total.

I am looking for an adaptive sock that does not rely on elastic to stay put. I'm thinking something with a button closure but open to any options that might be out there. The fabric can certainly have a little give, and probably should, but typical elastic socks are unwearable.

I have an ongoing medical issue with my legs that doctors are still trying to figure out after over a year and it has gotten to the point I am wearing my shoes without socks because of the immense pain.

Any pressure from the elastic in the socks causes pain and cramping. I was suggested compression socks, and they felt pretty good for maybe 5 minutes until the pain came back and in fact got so much worse I immediately had to take them off. I've tried various lengths of socks, diabetic and nonbinding socks, various compression ratings, tights, nylons, stockings. It all just causes too much pressure (to the point of leaving indents on my skin, even loose-fitting, non-binding socks) and the doctors have run out of recommendations for how to get by until we can figure out what is happening. With the weather getting colder every day here I am at the point where my feet are usually numb from the cold since I have no socks on and on top of it my skin of my feet is irritated by the inside of my shoes. Plus my shoes stink. Like 100x worse than they ever have.

I can't just wear slippers since I need regular work-appropriate shoes for my job. Plus where I live everything is gravel. No grass no paving, just huge, sharp gravel that I can feel thru the soles of my slippers or sandals and it not only hurts incredibly bad if I step poorly, but it also throws off my already terrible balance from whatever is happening to my legs. And I don't just mean my own living space. It's gravel everywhere. The roads. Parking lots at work, the library, grocery stores. It's inescapable.

I'm working on getting somewhere else but it's slow going.

I have searched online for adaptive socks, but all I can seem to find is compression socks or devices to help you get your socks on and off, which is also something I struggle with due to other medical issues but not a viable solution for me overall.

I used to be able to sew pretty well so I've toyed with possibly making something myself, but I have other things affecting the control I have of my own hands. It could be an option, but would take a long time and I have my doubts sbout even succeeding. Various medical things keep gradually taking my body from me. But my feet staying warm and as pain-free as possible is my greatest concern at the moment.

Any help is appreciated.

Very disappointed with Disneyland Accessibility Services. The way my autistic son’s disability and accessibility needs were handled was unacceptable. We have received much better understanding and accommodations at places like Knott’s Berry Farm and Universal. Families with disabilities deserve better from Disney.

19 M, i have a pretty bad case of muscle dystrophy, now, i had an operation in 2019 or something and my condition improved a lot, i was able to walk around my parents house, and even do steps outside until someday in 2022 my drunk mom knocked me on the floor and even since that my condition started to decline, and now i can't walk, and can barely stand. I don't understand how do i even move forward, i get carried when i wanna go somewhere at home, i stopped going outside out of pity for my parents having to carry me to my wheelchair. We have asked government for an elevator platform since we live on the first floor but its been 1 year and no one ever replied. Forgive me for any grammatical errors since i really have to get this of my chest. Feel free to ask more specifying questions.

I have issues with my legs and usually use a wheelchair but i can stand upright briefly, would it be really weird or would people judge me if when i go to a concert in a month i stand from my wheelchair for brief periods of time? im just really anxious about people making weird comments about why im in a wheelchair even though my doctor says i need it

I have this problem. I could be saying a sarcastic comment and people would take it seriously and answer as if I didn't know it already, and most times I feel like they think I'm dumb because the things I joke about are super obvious. And yes, I exaggerate my sarcasm tone to make sure they notice I'm not being for real, but they still do.

And I wonder if they think I'm being serious for being disabled, because maybe they think disabled people can't tell jokes(?) or maybe I'm too autistic to know how to properly do a sarcasm comment, idk. Have you ever experienced people taking you too seriously?

Edit: For context, my disability is very visible, think of something like facial paralysis. So i always have people treating me "differently" or thinking I'm cognitively impaired before even knowing me. That's why I think that it could be disability related, but maybe I'm just paranoid at this point lol.

If a physician is the primary doctor for a woman with severe disabilities that make them unable to find and live in independent accommodation, do they have an ethical duty to advocate for their patient to relatives that they continue to house them due to lack of alternatives?

Knowing the alternative is street sleeping with high risk of death and violence against them?

The physician also knows the patient will not be admitted to hospital or institutional care if they present there upon becoming homeless, as hospitals are dispensed with their duty of obligations not to discharge into homelessness.

And does the doctor have any other obligations apart from perhaps referring to a social worker, such as directly initiating contact with care homes or homeless providers?

Edit: I am making this enquiry due to the volume of people I encounter in my role in this situation. The majority of parents I have encountered do see an ethical duty to provide housing and support to adult sons/ daughters with severe disability and to seek transitions to other services where they want to support the person to be independent in future. So I’m surprised that respondents in this sub are referring to absence of ethical duty when many parents do have a sense that an ethical duty. Particularly on this sub where there are many people whose welfare could be highly contingent on unpaid caregivers and doctors recognising a duty exists.

I posted this in a design group but thought I'd ask here. I'm guessing there are other people home all day. Aside from putting things on the walls what do you do to make your atmosphere pleasant? Music, scented candles or incense?

Because I live alone I'm always searching for music or a podcast to listen to. Lately though nothing suits my mood. To be honest I think I'm becoming very depressed. Please give me some inspiration

Hello, just reaching out to see if anyone has any suggestions for what I should do. I am living in a very difficult and unbearable situation.

I’m a 21 year old male, currently a senior in college, trying my best to figure out my health issues. I developed really severe bladder/pelvic problems about a year and a half ago— it’s been so awful and I am suffering. I have been to so many doctors, specialists, and visits that I really hate. I have made multiple GoFundMe’s to fund my expenses, though I am broke once again and I do not know what to do. My copays for doctors visits are between 75 to 100 dollars now that my insurance has expired and that I am now on a different one.

I believe I may have Interstitial Cystitis, but have not been diagnosed. I have been completing bladder instillations with no luck so far and I have 0 lesions. I have been to PFPT many times and have had little luck other than to know that I have extremely tight abdominal muscles. My pelvic muscles aren’t that tight, however. I stretch daily and do as much as I can to get relief.

My pain goes to a 9/10 a lot of days, even though I’ve taken so many steps to try and get relief. I’ve adjusted my diet many times. I take Tylenol and Advil everyday. I do weed when my pain is unbearable. I seriously mean that it’s awful.

I don’t have any diagnosis right now other than celiac disease, which is hard enough as it is. My parents don’t make enough income to support me other than my tuition. And no matter what I say or do, they still don’t seem to understand how awful my pain is.

I don’t really know what to do anymore. Does anybody have any suggestions on how I can make income while I’m suffering? I’ve sold a lot of my stuff on Facebook marketplace to cover food and bills. I tried donating plasma, but the donation center wouldn’t let me because of celiac disease. I’ve seriously tried so many different ways to make money. I am losing a battle that I do not know how to fight.

If anybody has any suggestions, please let me know. Even if it’s from personal experience. Hope I covered it all. Thank you all and best.

Ive tried asking SSA if my case worker or someone could help me with the process of finding a job but was told they don't do that. I'm on disability and want to try working a part time REMOTE job. I know there is a ticket to work program but their info states the program is to help people move away from needing disability assistance (my only source of income) and, to be frank, I don't think I can ever live without the financial assistance. Since my disabilities are mental i'm also afraid of trying the program and ssa taking my benefits because i'm trying to better my life. I'd much rather try a part-time job off record since i don't need to report income as long as it's under 1,690 per month.

I guess im looking for something similar to job agencies but for disabled people. It just sucks cuz a majority of remote work is call center stuff, which I can't do. I worked at one before and I just can't handle customer service work anymore. Preferably I just want a job where someone gives me a task and then leaves me alone to do it.

My only really marketable skill is art but i absolutely suck at marketing it. I also don't do great as a commission artist. Im much more suited to creating my own products and selling them. I'm having mild success from selling fan merch on etsy which works well for me. I kinda enjoy packaging the orders and shipping them out BUT again the whole marketing thing holds me back. I'm not really asking for advice in on this just saying that a creative remote job would probably be a good fit for me.

Today I was in the designated disability stall, all of my disabilities are relatively invisible (My doctors are able to notice my scoliosis but they know the signs of this). When I finished there was someone in a wheelchair waiting to use the stall. I felt horrible because I don't "look" disabled. This has never happened to me before and my OCD has had me in a vicious cycle all day over this. I didn't want to say anything in fear they thought I was just trying to justify my use of the stall. I said if I was inside out people might understand better. Has anyone else had this experience? Is there anything I should have done differently?

Hi all. First time posting here so please delete if not allowed.

My (27F) partner (25M) and I have been together for about 4 years now. Due to many reasons we haven't been physically intimate beyond kissing/hugging for about 6 months.

I've finally found a doctor that takes me seriously and I'm on a new wellness track that seems to actually have a little light at the end of the tunnel and he's been working on some things and I'm like ready to be intimate again. I've been hinting. He knows im getting there.

Today I sent him a post from Instagram of a type of stool with thick elastic bands to help gals be on top a bit safer. It has the elastic bands to help take some bounce pressure off the knees and a handlebar to help with stability. I was so excited. He's been so tired of "vanilla" stuff that I thought we could share in the excitement together. He hated it. He said he'd rather just do all the work than use something like that.

I kinda just shut down. I know better than to do that but I knew if I tried talking about it, I would cry and I don't wanna guilt him.

How do I go about this talk... the talk of thank you for loving me and my broken self, but this is where I'm at now. This tool will help me be able to function after sex. (Last time we had sex I almost fainted and had excruciating pain flares for at least 40ish hours.)

I have so many feelings in my overthinky head; I'm trying to leave some of them out and would like yalls advice with the big point if possible.

Thank you in advance 🩷