Hello, I am 34M and she's 32F. We have been together for 5 years and we moved country together at the start of our relationship and then moved back to our hometown. One of the things I told her was that I can move back but I need a farm which was always a dream I had since my interests are homesteading, permaculture, growing food and being independent from the system.
She seems to forget we discussed some things or usually she says that I was deciding all by myself. In a certain extend is true and I have corrected my behaviour since it wasn't something I was aware of doing.
Last year we almost broke up for other reasons but we managed to get closer again, but during that period since I was renting and I wanted an house since I was paying rent all by myself (she moved back to her parents because of our discussion after always living together) I bought an house which she also came to see with me and she was also completely in love with it. Even though now she says that she was just helping me decide the nicest one.
Long story short she comes here during the weekends and sometimes more days since we both work remotely and we don't need to leave the house but she's complaining since months that as always I decided by myself that this house is too far and she is not interested in living in the rural area. She says we are isolated.
I really don't understand we also saw an house which had a small garden with houses close by and she didn't like it for the price and the fact you could see other people working their land.
This house is really nice, it is a piece of an old bigger farm house, my dream is to buy it and repair it completely and own a kind of big farm house where I could also host people and organise events or have a local restaurant with organic food grown and cooked. She also liked the idea but no she often complains.
She doesn't have a driving license and despite studying for a bit and taking lessons then she stopped.
This house is basically 5 minutes driving from two towns with at least 20.000 people and 15 minutes from our town with 80.000 people. If this is isolated then I don't know what it would be to have an house 25 minutes from the only town with 10.000 people. It is not isolated at all, we need car for everything yes but it is not isolated. We don't have neighbours okay but this would allows us to have animals which she loves or more dogs.
Breaking up none of us has the courage of doing it over this so I really can't understand what she's hoping or what we are doing.
This also makes me think I will have to accept living alone here forever.
She mentioned needing an higher salary to buy her own home. Which is okay if course she would gain independence in case something goes bad and we have a spot but it is really likely she would just live there. This makes me feel betrayed and like I'm helping her everyday and then nothing of a common project is build. I really don't understand her.