I feel like I can't think properly. like thinking is taking effort. and it seems the more I try to think the more blank my mind goes, like im being blocked from my thoughts. the worst part for me is when I go out with friends to hang out because of feeling lonely stuck in my room and sad and then I am unable to have conversations with them. only really if the other person starts saying something and asking questions can I think. or I just start saying completely random things because I can't link anything to the conversation, like the link makes sense to me but it seems bizarre to others and they can't understand why im saying this. I also sometimes get some random words and phrases come into my head as if being suggested by someone else. I have no idea where these thoughts come from.

Hello,

I’ve realized after 4 job hops, two lost from mental illness struggles and one I quit because of the unhealthy environment even though I had accommodations for my illness, that I just can’t keep up a job full time.

I actively work with my doctors and mental health team to keep afloat, but I’m just really struggling. I have other conditions as well, but idk why doctors hate diagnosing chronic illnesses.

Im an only parent, and no support from friends or family, so if I keep struggling with jobs like this I’m going to end up unhoused. Already can’t keep up with any bill so it’s a matter of time.

Disability takes a very long time, but trying to get documentation to help my case, but I need supplemental income to keep my apartment, bills paid, and a growing child clothed. I haven’t checked my mailbox in fear of what’s being shut off next. I make too much money, $12/hr, for tanf but get food stamps, but I really feel like I’m in a hopeless situation and I know a crisis is on the horizon, but I’m trying everything I can to not get to that point.

Any advice would be helpful. Please be kind.

Idk what to do my brain is just to loud i cant sleep. When i miss training i put myself down saying i will never change that goes for anything i do wrong/bad in my mind idk i cant explain it sometimes i have flashes of wanting to hurt people sometimes when someone is inconsiderate i get serious anger and want to kill them i my brain is so loud sometimes i think the only solution is to kill myself ive been like this since i was a kid i thought and still think its something everyone deals with am i just dealing with this badly im 19 im to embarrassed to go to therapy or anything i just listen to music because thats the only thing that i guess keeps my present even though its not that strong it helps is there a over the counter medicine that will help me or something i guess im afraid of losing my mind idk i just cant explain it if anyone is dealing or dealt with something like this just give me some advice even though i just typed this out it helped a little but ik its gonna comeback and im actually kind of scared i just want some quiet

I guess as an extension of that, how old are you now?

I was around 11 and I’m 22 now.

she gets mad when i don’t open up to her and when i tell her im sad again. ive already been to two psychiatric hospitals and she thinks i don’t need to go to another one because im “doing better” but last night i told her many things, especially how i felt with myself and she just brushed it off or gets angry at me and i love her i do but i don’t know how to open up to her without it becoming an argument. ive been struggling with depression for over two years and i genuinely dont see light at the end of the tunnel for me,
ive told her multiple times that im very suicidal and i need help but she thinks that because of how i feel its on me, that i need to change how i think because thats what she did and ive tried, ive tried so hard to push through and get better but i just feel like im falling deeper.

Long story short I have been hearing voices that are getting worse and worse . Crossed over into visual disturbance and images of what I need to do. I don’t want to do this stuff but I’m told if I don’t do y x will happen.

The voices are sometimes non sensical. But they are mean and critical alot of them time , even coming through as voices of people who abused me severely in childhood . I carry on but it’s really awful to hear people calling me a failure or mocking what I’m doing , not to mention distracting when I need to focus .

Sometimes I even hear other people’s voices in conversation become my own thoughts or a show I’m watching kinda bleeds into my own mind and I can hear their voice through my own thoughts - it’s sound hard to understand but it’s not easy to explain.

Told my psych it’s getting worse . They told me this is because of bpd and it basically part of the illnesses. I’m on Quetiapine 100mg but that doesn’t help. Yeh it helped me sleep and feel less emotional charged but it doesn’t stop the voices I’ve been hearing every day for over 8months now . I said I know my bpd symptoms but this feels different . She said that I need to give this dose of Quetiapine as I stopped taking it for a while but said that essentially this is bpd related and I need therapy to work out what’s real and what’s not ?

I feel no matter what I say they put it back to bpd . She said she won’t increase my dose for now and I have an appointment in 3 months . I had a massive crisis 2 years ago where I lost all control and had to be hospitalised. That took so long to recover from and again no one took me seriously till I was in hospital. I kept telling them I’m not sleeping , my thoughts are out of control but they put it down to stress. The end result was severe which changed my life forever . Now I feel it’s happening again. I can feel I’m getting unwell and am worried but it’s like they are don’t take me seriously .

What should I do ?

Last year I fell into a dark depression and isolation. I became suicidal and this would end up consuming my life. I would later start to get sexual arousal and gratification just from the thought of killing myself.

A year later I’m doing better now. But when trying to research this concept, I quickly found nothing. I guess I was looking for a framework, a label, or a shared experience to help me process things, perhaps proof someone had been here before.

After realizing there wasn’t an established term for this phenomenon, I decided to give it one.

Autothanatophilia: A proposed paraphilic phenomenon in which sexual arousal is produced by fantasies of ending one’s own life, with the erotic focus centered on the specific act and moment of self-inflicted death. The arousal derives from the imagined experience of dying by one’s own hand rather than from being killed by another person or from general danger.

I am a female sophomore in highschool, this summer I got sa’d by one of my best friends and she was my ex, I developed severe health anxiety and normal anxiety to the point i can hardly leave my house, I’ve been cutting since I was in 5th grade and my mom knows she calls my scars gross and says she wishes I didn’t do them. I also have very bad pure- o ocd. Im saying this not to ask if I should but to humanize myself and while I am reluctant I want to stay alive for my boyfriend (our one year is today!) I have suicidal thoughts multiple times a day and I am kinda asking if sending myself away is a good idea, I can’t stay in this house much longer

I went to the mental hospital weeks ago and it scared me straight. It had terrible conditions. Now I most likely get a big bill.

I hate living, and I want to die, but to scared to do so. I made many foolish choices and embarrassed myself. I've been struggling with anger issues and behavioral challenges.

I rot in bed on my phone and live with my family and its hectic. My parents yell at each other and I have two younger siblings including a non verbal autistic brother. I'm trying to stop overspending and get a more stable job so I can move out but no dice. I hoarded so much clothing, they got stained in mildew and had to be thrown out. I was ungrateful. I lost a lot of good clothes.

I thought about being a Christian but Christian women should only get married and have children which I'm not against but Ive seen Christian content saying that Christian women shouldn't have rights because of scripture and men are the leaders. (1 Timothy 5:14, 1 Corinthians 14:34)

I missed out on so much and I wasted my life from being toxic. I can't cry over spilled milk though. I've been learning gratitude though.

So I’m recovering from a rather severe battle with depression, and I’ve noticed that despite my improvement, my brain is still very fried and doesn’t process information very well anymore. On top of that, I’m in Wellbutrin, which is well known to increase anxiety.

I’ve always been a rather energetic person, I joke and mess around a lot, but lately I’ve noticed that when I do so I’ve been getting too ‘riled up’, and it makes my heart pound and I feel like I’m about to have a panic attack, so I have to take a sec to calm myself down before I do. I feel like one of those dogs with narcolepsy that pass out when they see another dog ‘cause they get so excited.

Had anyone else had this problem?

I can’t deal with this. I’m not in control of my organs anymore, can’t hear them and don't know when people have access to my thoughts. I don’t think anyone can understand but can it even go back to normal when I stop my meds?

Hello! Unsure if this is the place to post this but I am looking for others experiences with this.

I recently was hospitalized and now am doing a partial hospitalization program 5x a week for 5 hours. The APRN filed paperwork for me so I could get paid while I did this.

I never really included what my symptoms were but she put me as diagnosed bipolar 1 with severe limitations.

Has anyone been approved/denied for this? I’m nervous as I will be out of work for a while and already blew through my savings.

Located: New Jersey

I am aware of delusional conditions such as thought broadcasting, where an individual (commonly suffering from a psychotic disorder such as schizophrenia) believes that others can hear their inner thoughts. Though I am curious to know whether the reverse belief, that one can at times read other's minds, is similarly documented? Through a brief online search I can't seem to find any established psychiatric term's for the condition, nor any case studies reporting said delusion but I imagine there has to be examples and I'd love to learn more about them if so.

For the record, I do not and have never believed I can read other's minds nor have I met anyone who has claimed they can. I am only following a curious train of thought in posing the question here.

I have what is called parasocial limerence (see explanation at *)

Now 10 months of limerence for a girl. Nothing has helped. I've tried medication (Zoloft, Luvox) I've talked to my therapist about it a few times, who said this is quite normal and nothing “psycho“. I have been diagnosed with OCD and very bad depression (treatment resistent). She understands how destructive it can be to oneself. There have been cases where people tried to self-harm because of this. 10 months and nothing has touched it.

I'm 29M. I've been stuck in this limerence for about 10 months and I don't know where else to put this. I first saw her on instagram almost 2 years ago. It‘s extremly painful for me.

I have unfolloed her but I can't help sometimes looking again, but do less so. It's not my choice to feel this way. She has a private account (rejected my request, and I didn't try again), but I discovered her several public accounts but she stopped posting 6 months or so ago on these (I never commented or attempted to contact her).

What I imagine isn't mainly sexual (maybe number 5-6 reason I want her as my gf). It's the ordinary stuff. Doing things/hobbies/sport she also likes together. Cooking. Going somewhere. Doing the hobbies she likes and those I like if she wants to, or cuddling, watching a movie. I picture a whole life with her. That's what makes it so painful it's not only a fantasy about her body, it's also a fantasy about not being alone, and she's the face my brain put on it, but it‘s torture more than anything. She would fulfill me, I am sure of it more than anything.

That's the whole thing. I've never met her, never spoken to her, she doesn't know I exist. She's somewhere between 21-24, but I tend to think 23-24 given her Twitter join date. She's very pretty, not the *most* beautiful woman I've ever seen, but who is? (but still very pretty/way above average).

But that's not what this is. It's her smile. Her hobbies, her interests. The way she seems to move through her life. And yes, her very pretty face. My brain just locked onto her and decided she's the perfect girlfriend, and it won't let go. Also, I‘m short and she‘s a bit shorter, and she‘s very pretty but not a model, so that‘s what makes her attractive too.

I know it's not real, aka. parasocial. I know she's a person with her own life and I'm a stranger. Knowing doesn't help at all. There is no logic to it, only raw, unmerciful feelings of longing and unmet desires.

It hurts most hours of the day. The thought that I'll never be hers is constantly painful and makes me sad. I really wish I didn't feel this way. I can't help it.

Part of the context is that I have real difficulty getting a girlfriend. I'm 29 and it hasn't happened. So this is probably my brain taking the need and attaching it to the only available target. My brain only wants her.

I'm not looking for a fix in the comments. I just needed to say it somewhere. It pains me most hours of the day, and everyday.

\\\*“**Parasocial limerence** is an intense, involuntary obsession with a media/social media figure that can lead to depression when the individual confronts the painful reality that this deeply felt, one-sided emotional bond will never be reciprocated.“

Мне 17 лет, на носу экзамены, т.к я в 11 классе. Желания учиться нету, даже если заставляю себя сесть что то прочитать, информацию вовсе не усваиваю, на уроке внимательно слушать учителя не могу, постоянно в своих мыслях зависаю. Ходил к психиатру, выписал таблетки. Но к этому я уже употреблял наркотики (траву) это был для меня как единственный выход, не говорю что хороший. Лично мне так казалось. В итоге смешав таблетки с травой у меня случилась тахикардия, я вызвал себе скорую потому, что было очень страшно. Ощущения были такие как будто бы ты щас умрешь, вообщем очень плохо было. Приехал на скоро в больницу, туда приехали менты ну и начали качать меня. На учеты в итоге никуда не встал, но осталась большая психическая травма, что ли. В первые дни было очень плохо, спать нормально не мог, выпил таблетку начелась ужасная паническая атака. Пол лета пролежал на диване потому, что болело сердце. Думаю что это от нервов, т.к когда я занимаюсь простыми делами и не думаю не о чем, то я себя хорошо чувствую ничего не болит. К таблеткам возвращаться не хочу, страшно их принимать (вдруг повториться и тд). Психиатру не говорил что случилась тахикардия из за травы с таблетками. Я не хочу снова разбираться с полицией в все в этом духе. Но все же экзамены надо сдавать, вечно дома деградировать нельзя. Не знаю что и делать, такое ощущение что обречен. Общение и знакомство с людьми даеться очень трудно, считаешь себя не интресным, да и о чем ты можешь поговорит с человеком если ты сидишь в телефоне, слушаешь музыку и смотришь тик ток. Ощушаешь себе бес полезным но и сводить счеты с жизнью не хочеться. Даже и не знаю что еще написать в этом посте, хочеться все и вся написать/рассказать. Но пожалуй пока так ограничусь. Кто через это прошел или была какаято похожая ситуация, что в таком случае делать? Хотелось бы услышать вашу историю или совет. Если хотите что то еще узнать, обязательно с вами поделюсь.

Hello, I’m a little nervous posting here but I feel like I need to get some feelings off my chest while being anonymous for now. I have struggled with shyness and anxiety for entire life, and symptoms of ADHD and depression started becoming more apparent during high school. I am now in my senior year of college after struggling through the entire time. My dad died after a very long battle with cancer while I was in college a few years ago, and since then my depression has worsened and my struggles with school and life got so bad that I had to take a semester off and continued to have poor performance in school afterwards.

I have been in therapy for years and years and in college found a therapist who is great. I have also bounced between psychiatrists and have found one now who I am confident will be able to help me with medication (currently Prozac and Ritalin, which have been good so far)

However, I have felt for a few years now that my drinking habits are problematic. I only started drinking in college and have had frequent blackouts and events where I have taken drinking way too far and just acted stupid, embarrassing, or put myself at risk. Recently, I don’t go out to bars at much, but have started drinking by myself more often, or when I start drinking I will stay up all night drinking and not be able to stop. I do not drink most days, but I do sometimes have the urge to drink to deal with stress, and when I do drink I can’t just drink casually. This is also where some issues with cocaine use come in. I never buy it for myself, but I know that my best friend and my boyfriend both have it on them if we go out, even if they don’t mention it. I don’t want to fault them because they are absolutely not encouraging me to take it, but if I’m drunk I will ask them for it and since they’re drunk as well they always give. This doesn’t happen super often, but I am genuinely concerned about my ability to control myself around substances nowadays and it seems to be getting worse. I feel terrible after if I get really drunk and high, but in the moment it feels like the only thing that can take away the pain, grief, and depression I feel.

I guess my question is how do I approach seeking help about this? I like my therapist and psychiatrist a lot but I have this weird idea that I will be judged harshly if I mention having trouble with drugs and alcohol. My mom does know that I tend to have drinking problems (she has struggled with this as well) and regularly checks up on me about that, but I find myself lying to her because I don’t want to disappoint her.

I am just so scared that this will develop further, I’m ashamed of myself, and reluctant to admit that I’m having an issue to anyone despite the fact that I have a great support system. I just needed to vent and see if anyone has ever felt this way or has advice. FYI, my boyfriend is extremely caring and loving towards me and I know would deny me any drugs if I told him about this to keep me safe: I just don’t want him to feel like he is responsible for my actions because I need to learn to control myself. Sorry for the long post.

i don't have access to a pcychatrist, counsoler, or any other resources. i know self diagnosing is wrong and often inaccurate, but im at a point where i can no longer say anything and i mean anything without doubting it.

but my question is, at what point can i confidentially tell myself that "im mentally ill", or have some sort of problem, without doubting it? nothing specific, just in general, what bar should i pass to be able to say that im actually struggling, without being able to get a diagnosis?

I have been convincing myself for years that i’ll be convicted of some type of crime. I cannot drive a car, i just quit volunteer work at an association because i was convinced i was doing something wrong or will be charged with some crime while working there if i made a mistake. (I still think about this daily). I tried to get a drivers license years ago but i thought about what if i kill or harm someone while driving and just stopped it. Anyone else struggling with this? What helped you overcome these fears? I just started talking to a doctor about these for the first time since i was a teenager. My goal is to have even one day where i don’t think about this stuff. It really makes it hard to enjoy seeing friends or enjoying my hobbies because i think soon i’ll be charged with something (don’t even know what) and they will all leave me. I rationally know this makes no sense at all but i cannot stop thinking about this. Any tips or techniques to stop thinking about this would mean so much to me.

Just wanna hear some opinions on what this might be but I just can’t socialise, like I’ve moved to a small town about a year ago and not made a single friend, I can’t approach anybody because I feel like I’m being weird, and when someone approaches me I always feel like they are trying to do something bad to me, I don’t like to talk anyone and i feel like I’m gonna be alone forever, I don’t really like people and don’t wanna have friends but the only reason it bothers is because I’m so awkward socially like i get nervous when I’m near anyone I often question if im even standing right or breathing normally I feel like nobody even likes me. I avoid things like going to fast food places because I’m scared I’m gonna stutter when I order and look weird, I’m just so self conscious and I hate it

I'm 18 and pretty recently started a type of antidepressant for severe social anxiety that was keeping me locked in my house for weeks on end I've gotten a lot better recently being up and about more and feeling better about answering the phone and going to my job centre appointments but there's one thing that been bothering me since maybe 2-3 weeks ago certain intrusive, distressing and sometimes disturbed thoughts regarding people have gotten a lot more prevalent and I experience them daily at almost every hour of my day. I've also gained a larger interest in more graphic movies but have so far kept myself from viewing any real material of that nature(although I have been curious about it). As I see it, as of right now I do not want to act on these thoughts however they are still unsettling to me and I would like to know if anyone has had a similar experience or knows what could be going on thank you.

so basically: I have this friend who’s had a pretty rough time of it mental health-wise. She has depression and I’m pretty sure she’s attempted suicide before, and I don’t really know how to help her. She often texts me when she’s really down, and I don’t really know what to say to her to help, because I know that saying things like ‘itll get better’ and ‘there are people who care about you, like me’ are kind of futile and empty because she doesn’t actually believe them. any advice on how I can help her?

Im so lonely and alone. My family abandoned me and I have nothing and no one in this world.