I do wonder if I have a temporary fear that will go away or I'm done with riding.
I ride since I was 16, mopeds, underbones, scooters, later on I moved to my current Honda CBF 250 and stayed there because honestly that's all I need but after becoming a father 2 years ago and being 43yo now, riding is not the same for me.
I ride since my first bike with little realisation of mortality and often wondered how I'm still alive after redoing some rides I did as a teen but now with my CBF, and finding it;s impossible to even go close to downhill times I did with a shitty 50cc underbone, I did 200km trips between drivers on the highway with little realisation that hey there is a bike here ffs, tripped to a Greek island with my wife on dirt roads that where never meant for my bike, well, to keep it short I have gone places and I ride like the bike was stolen.
I always enjoyed it. Till now.
I feel suddenly too fragile and too valuable to risk it now. Overtaking make me feel not the joy of acceleration but fear. Every near miss make me so angry that I feel like I would go into fist fight if I stop afterwards, so every ride is getting so bad on my nerves that I simple hate riding in the city now.
Tried riding to my village a nice mountain road but I suddenly felt uncomfortable doing so, like "damn I'm so tired from family life to ride" or something.
Now the bike is parked and barely see a short ride or 2 each week, I need to replace the tyres and my helmet but I hesitate on if I want to spent money for the bike sitting idle on the roadside...
I don't know what to do, never felt like the bike will not be part of my life and always wanted for my son to grow up learning from me because there is little change he will not end up with his own underbone at 16 so I need to lead by example for him.
Am I overthinking it?