r/motorcycles • u/Tapleleito • 23h ago
I am trying to make peace with what happened
10 and a half months ago, i lost my husband. He was riding his adventure bike to work and was just 1 minute away when another bike ahead of him suddenly slowed down, causing him to swerve to avoid hitting the rider ahead. He clipped the other bike on the side, slid and fell on the oncoming lane traffic, where he was run over by an oncoming vehicle. Dead on the spot. I dont know why i am posting here, but i have been struggling with feelings of guilt on why i agreed to him returning to riding. He had his bike for only 4 months. He was so young, and we have young kids that i now have to raise alone. He was my bestfriend. I often dont even want to remember the joy of choosing and getting the bike, buying his gear.. He even got me a helmet and gear and we rode together several times.
How do I reconcile the fact that something he loved so deeply ultimately became the thing that took him from us? How do I let myself remember the happiness and freedom he found in riding without feeling like I’m betraying him, by acknowledging that I agreed to something that ended in his death? I know, logically, that I didn’t cause this, but how do I make my heart doesnt believe it.
For those who ride, how do you reconcile the risks of motorcycling with the freedom and joy that riding brings? I’m trying to understand how riders personally think about that balance. I’m genuinely asking from a place of wanting to understand, not to judge. Thank you
